AAHHHH!!!! was what I heard and squealed when I was plunged forward at 90 miles per hour while I was at Knott's Berry farm. I remember it like it was yesterday when Jonathan and I were riding the really big roller coasters. I remember I had almost died on one of the rides because on the ride you were supposed to stay low and I stuck my head up and it almost got cut off. The major thing I was trying to most pay attention to was the SPEED of the rides. I have to say the fastest ride was the Silver bullet because we were going so fast I couldn't even look straight for 2 seconds. It was really intense because there is a lot of loop-de-loops on it and you go upside down about 4 times. When I got off the ride I couldn't even walk in a straight line I was so dizzy.
I was a little nervous to go on the Supreme scream because going up slowly then going down 500 feet at 87 miles an hour hearing "OH MY GOD HELP ME! I'M ABOUT TO DIE!" Is not the easiest thing not to freak out on. When you are on the ride you go up very very slowly then shot down at 87 miles an hour. My stomach and your face go up. Also, when going down you can't move for some reason you're just going so fast you feel like you are frozen in mid air. It was Jonathan's favorite ride of all of them in the park. All of the rides I had ridden were the Exellerator,Supreme scream, Silver bullet, Sierra spin, Wipe out, and GHOST RIDER. The one that was the fastest was Silver bullet, the scary one was Supreme scream, the boring one was Sierra spin, the unexpected one is Exellerator, and the shakiest and my favorite was GHOST RIDER. I enjoyed it the most because it was the most intense that I have ever been on. It is intense because you go up about 200 feet then go zooming down a giant hill, then pulled and swerved for the rest of the ride going 90 miles an hour. After the giant drop off hill it felt like 2 giant magnets were yanking me from left to right, like a crazy maniac was working the controls wrong. It made me feel excited but a little scared at the same time. At the end of the ride I felt like a wobbly skeleton.
At the end of the day when I went home I felt kind of weird. The rides at Knott's berry farm are a little dangerous because when I sat down it felt like I was still at Knott's berry farm riding around in the roller coasters. I was like I was being plunged forward and backwards or up and down but it felt insane. Now Knott's berry farm is my favorite theme park with roller coasters because of how crazy the rides are... until I go to six flags.:-)
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9 comments:
It was very funny to read but there were some punctuation not where it should be or where it should be it wasn't. The way it was formed was easy to read and easy to know where the paragraphs were starting and ending. If this was my own piece I would change my punctuation so it made more sense other than that it was enjoyable.
Your Blog Is very nice. I like the way you were so descriptive with how Intense the rides were.
I think you did a better job of describing your emotions and elaborating.
The part about riding the Ghostrider.
This was a very funny memoir but you were missing some punctuation.or it was in the wrong place.The format was easy to read and i know right away were the paragraphs are starting and ending.If it was my piece I would change the punctuation error and that would be it. Great Job!
Jason,
You did a great job. I really liked your description and elaboration. Your memoir is very well written. It is very catchy and interesting. Your content is very good. Nice job!
Jason,
Nice blog! You were very descriptive with the way that everything felt however, when writing this again I would change a couple of things. For one thing, you used strong words except for the fact that they were repetitive. Also, you didn't have a focus point, you jumped from one ride to another. Stick to one of your favorite rides that you can write about and elaborate on it a little. This will give your writing structure, and you wont have to write about a six hour experience. Good job overall!
AAHHHH!!!! was what I heard and squealed when I was plunged forward at 90 miles per hour while I was at Knott's Berry farm.
instead of telling me what happened you should show me. for instance.
"AAHHHHH!" I squealed plunging forward. Knotts berry farm has an amazing roller coaster that speeds up to 90mph.
you dont always have to say, i remember. the reader knows you do because you are the one that is writing it.
i don't see many of the crafts that i taught in class. i need to see more. hey, how much did you change from the 1st draft?
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